Tiger's Bombshell, Finau's Secret, and Paradise Golf Drama

Good morning. This is your Happy Valley Golf Team Wednesday newsletter. Let’s get it!

Unsolicited Golf Tips

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Trivia

Paradise Calling: Golf's Most Luxurious "Non-Vacation Vacation" Returns!

Grab your finest resort wear and most expensive sunscreen – it's time for the 2024 Hero World Challenge, where 20 of golf's elite gather to "work really hard" in the Bahamas. (Wink, wink!)

The Main Characters

The Boss Who's Not Bossin': Tiger Woods, our gracious host, will be watching from the sidelines after back surgery. At this point, Tiger's had more procedures than some hospitals, but hey, at least he gets to wear those comfy resort shirts all weekend!

The Terminator: World No. 1 Scottie Scheffler returns to defend his title. With seven wins in 2024, he's been treating the PGA Tour like his personal ATM machine. The only thing more consistent than his golf game is his incredibly unchanging facial expression – somewhere between "mildly concerned" and "just remembered I left the oven on."

The Supporting Cast

The Swedish Wonderkid: Ludvig Åberg arrives fresh-faced and ready to show why he's golf's next big thing. He's so young he probably thinks Tiger Woods is a nature documentary.

The Comeback Kid: Justin Thomas is here to remind everyone he used to win tournaments. Remember those days? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

The Course

Albany Golf Course is what happens when someone says, "Let's put a golf course in paradise, but make it really hard." Ernie Els designed it, presumably while sipping something with a tiny umbrella in it. The wind can blow so hard here, your visor might end up in Cuba.

The tournament record is a scorching 262 (-26), set by Jordan Spieth in 2014, while Rickie Fowler holds the course record with a blistering 61 (-11).

What's at Stake

Besides $5 million in prize money (or as Scottie Scheffler calls it, "a slow weekend"), players are competing for:

• The right to post the most enviable Instagram photos

• Bragging rights at the most exclusive water cooler in golf

• A trophy that's probably worth less than their caddie's watch

The Real Competition

Let's be honest – the real battle this week will be between players trying to convince their families this is "work" while lounging by the pool between rounds. "No honey, these umbrella drinks are for hydration purposes only!"

The forecast calls for perfect weather, pristine conditions, and at least three players claiming their "intense preparation" included snorkeling with the local sea turtles. It's the kind of tournament where even finishing last feels like winning at life.

May the best golfer win, and may everyone else at least get a good tan!

News You Need to Know

Tiger Woods won’t make his long-awaited return to golf at the HERO. But the 15-time major champion just dropped a major hint about two upcoming events, but his latest comments about his physical condition leave fans wondering. Plus, his shocking statement about Ryder Cup player compensation has the golf world buzzing. The answer comes next week...

Is another PGA Tour star about to jump ship to LIV Golf? Tony Finau's sudden withdrawal from the Hero World Challenge has set the rumor mill ablaze. His wife's cryptic TikTok post only adds fuel to the fire, while a LIV Golf insider hints at "crushing" announcements coming soon. Could Finau be following his close friend Jon Rahm to the Saudi-backed circuit?

Golf's biggest stars are set to clash in a groundbreaking primetime showdown with millions in cryptocurrency at stake. World No.1 Scottie Scheffler teams up with Rory McIlroy to face off against rivals Bryson DeChambeau and Brooks Koepka under the lights in Las Vegas. With open mics throughout and a unique three-format battle, this December 17 event promises drama that could reshape how we watch professional golf. But which team will claim the revolutionary crypto prize purse?

Tiger Woods just dropped a bombshell about golf's biggest power struggle. The 15-time major champion reveals why the PGA Tour-PIF negotiations have hit unexpected turbulence, while a major sponsor warns of "confusion" plaguing the sport's future. With LIV Golf still poaching players and a surprising new deal in the works, could professional golf's landscape be on the verge of another seismic shift?

Meme of the Week

Thanks for reading!

Enjoy your week,

Cody.