Scottie's $62M Year & MJ's $100K Flex: The Golf Stories You Can't Miss

Good morning. This is your Happy Valley Golf Team Monday newsletter.

Vijay Singh is tied with Tiger Woods and now Scottie Scheffler for most wins on Tour in a single year. Vijay. Singh.. 🤯

Anyways, lets get it!

Unsolicited Golf Tips

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Tiger's Tournament, Scheffler's Show: A Comedy of Errors (For Everyone But Scottie)

Move over, Santa - Scottie Scheffler just delivered an early Christmas present to himself by absolutely demolishing the field at the Hero World Challenge in the Bahamas. While most of us were struggling with holiday shopping, Scheffler was shopping for birdies like they were on a Black Friday sale, firing a bogey-free 63 in the final round to reach 25-under par.

The "Is This Guy Even Human?" Show

Remember when you thought you were good at something? Well, Scheffler started Sunday one shot behind Justin Thomas and decided that was one shot too many. He casually dropped three birdies in his first four holes, including a 50-foot putt that had more curve than a mountain road. At this point, other players were probably considering a career in professional mini-golf instead.

Scotties Numbers That Make Other Pros Cry

• Nine wins in 2024 (matching Tiger Woods and Vijay Singh) - because eight would've been lazy

• Won 43% of his tournaments - basically showing up half the time and saying "mine"

• Beat 17 of 19 competitors by 10+ strokes - social distancing, golf style

• Won "only" $1 million this week (his smallest paycheck of the year - poor guy might need a side hustle)

The "Thanks for Coming Out" Competition

Tom Kim played brilliantly to finish second at -19, while Justin Thomas had to settle for third at -18. Thomas had a particularly memorable day, featuring two duffed chips that looked suspiciously like my average Saturday morning golf shots. The difference? I pay to do it, he gets paid to do it.

The "Because Being Perfect Wasn't Enough" Moment

Scheffler decided to test out a new "claw" putting grip this week because, apparently, being the best golfer on planet Earth needed a difficulty adjustment. It's like Superman deciding to fight crime while hopping on one foot - and still winning.

The cherry on top? Earlier in the week, Scheffler joked about how he and Tiger Woods commiserate about not making enough money. This from a guy who made $62 million on tour this year - enough to buy approximately 15.5 million hot dogs at the turn. Talk about first-world problems!

And while most of us are trying to figure out how to afford Christmas presents, Scottie's biggest concern is probably where to put all his trophies. Maybe he can start using them as fancy coffee mugs - that's one way to make morning coffee taste like victory!

News You Need to Know

Breaking: Greg Norman's reign at LIV Golf is coming to an end. The controversial golf legend confirms his departure as CEO, but what's behind this sudden leadership shift? And with merger talks still hanging in the balance, what does this mean for the future of professional golf? The answer might surprise you...

Costly mistake: A pro golfer's dream victory turned into a nightmare after a simple rules misunderstanding led to a devastating 7-stroke penalty. How could such a basic error derail what should have been the biggest win of his career? The painful details of this "lift, clean and place" disaster will make every golfer cringe 😬

Million-dollar smile: Scottie Scheffler just pocketed a massive payday at Tiger Woods' exclusive tournament, but it's what happened during the trophy presentation between Woods and Justin Thomas that has everyone talking. The surprising details of this star-studded event

Money talks: When a golfer tried to show off with a $25,000 casino chip at Shadow Creek, Michael Jordan's legendary response with a $100K chip—and what he said next—proves why you should never try to outflex the GOAT.

Meme of the Week

Thanks for reading!

Enjoy your week,

Cody.