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Hawaiian Golf Paradise or Millionaires' Beach Day? 🌊 (Plus One Broken Toe)

Hawaiian Golf Paradise or Millionaires' Beach Day? 🌊 (Plus One Broken Toe)

Chris Kirk defends his title while Viktor Hovland waddles through paradise. Bonus: How to look graceful carrying a 35-pound whale tail trophy...

Happy Valley Golf Team
December 30, 2024

Good morning. This is your Happy Valley Golf Team newsletter. Let’s get it!

Last send of 2024, we made it!

Here’s what we’ve got for you today:

How to master pitch shots
Chris Kirk returns to defend his mind-boggling 29-under victory at Kapalua
Viktor Hovland's epic battle with his bed frame resulted in a broken toe
How Torrey Pines turns tee times into gold

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Unsolicited Golf Tips

Watch: HOW TO MASTER PITCH SHOTS (50-100 Yards)

Golf Trivia

Which legendary golfer is credited with co-founding the Masters Tournament in 1934?

The Sentry preview's coming today instead of Wednesday because let's face it - my New Year's Day self will be too busy regretting all my life choices from New Years Eve to form coherent sentences. Congrats to Lo and Poech 🍻

Paradise Kicks Off with Pars (and Probably Some Bogeys)

The PGA Tour is heading to Hawaii for The Sentry. Where 60 of golf's elite will attempt to play golf while trying not to get distracted by those pesky ocean views at Kapalua. It's like a working vacation, except the "work" part could earn you millions.

Back 9 on the Plantation Course

The Field

World No. 1 Scottie Scheffler is out after losing a fight with a Christmas glass (spoiler: the glass won). But don't worry, we've still got plenty of millionaires in polo shirts to keep us entertained. Xander Schauffele leads the pack. Probably hoping to recreate his 2019 victory while simultaneously trying to convince everyone that yes, he can actually pronounce Kapalua correctly now.

Defending Champ's Return

Chris Kirk is back to defend his title after last year's ridiculous 29-under performance. That's the kind of score that makes weekend hackers question their life choices and consider taking up pickleball instead.

Notable Storylines

The Great Toe Disaster of 2025

Viktor Hovland, apparently forgetting how walking works, managed to break his toe on his bed frame. This proves that even world-class athletes can be just as graceful as a newborn giraffe in their own bedroom. He's still playing, though now with a slight waddle that makes him look like he's perpetually walking on hot sand.

Show Me The Money

The winner gets $3.6 million and a 35-pound trophy shaped like a whale tail. Because nothing says "I won at golf" quite like lugging around a marine mammal-inspired paperweight through airport security.

I’d still put it on my mantle 🤷‍♂️

Course Setup

The Plantation Course remains a par-73. Which is just the course architect's way of saying "we couldn't make it work as a par-72, so we threw in an extra par-5." With elevation changes that would make a mountain goat nervous, it's still one of the most beautiful places to three-putt in the world.

The Experience

Golf Channel coverage starts at 6 p.m. ET on Thursday, perfect timing for those who enjoy watching other people play golf in paradise while eating leftover holiday cookies in their winter pajamas. Friday is Hawaiian shirt day, transforming the world's best golfers into your uncle at a backyard barbecue.

The 2025 season opener promises plenty of drama, spectacular views, and at least one player blaming their poor putting on the grain of the greens. Here's to 2025, where the drives are long, the putts are (hopefully) straight, and Viktor Hovland has hopefully learned to turn on the lights before walking around his room.